I gave a lot of thought to this story over Shabbos. On Friday the NY Post (and Ny Times) wrote about a Frum Jewish man, Tuvia Stern, who is in prison, that threw a Bar Mitzvah for 60 people while still in Jail. The reason this is such a big deal is because this type of thing is strictly forbidden according to the rules set up in NY.

There are a few ways to really approach this. The first thing that comes to mind is the incredible Chillul Hashem this story has created. This was on the FRONT PAGE of the NY Post and Shwekey’s picture and name was on page 4, smack next to the frum Chaplain that has allowed all kinds of other Frum Jews in prison special treatment.

There really are many layers to this story. There are even different layers of Chillul Hashem.

1) It’s a Chillul Hashem that this story has highlighted the fact that there are numerous RELIGIOUS Jews in prison. Maybe it’s better for frum Jews to be a little more quiet in the big house, since most of these guys are in for “short” terms anyway.

2) It’s a Chillul Hashem that people will read this and just assume “rich powerful Jews get whatever they want, even in prison” and cause people to have an another reason to not like Jews.

Now … on a practical level …

3) It will create an incredible amount of red tape for Frum organization like Aleph to help get “regular” Jews in prison Judaica items and Kosher food. When they already have to go through major hurdles to arrange a simple Seder for 4 or 5 Jews in a prison in upstate NY. The city will be much more strict now.  Not just in NY, since this story made national headlines, prison wardens all over the country will be nervous to be seen as giving Jewish prisoners “special” treatment” and this is could become VERY bad.

4) This extends not just to kosher food, but helping Frum Jewish prisoners Yidden becoming frum get access to Seforim, Teffilin, Talaisim, Menorahs, Wine/challah for Shabbos. This is potentially a huge PR disaster for Frum Prison chaplains and organizations helping Jewish prisoners.

Now I want to discus two more things. The Frum attitude toward frum people in prison and the antisemitic angle of this story.

Let me talk about the second thing first. I am not gonna sit here and pretend that there wasn’t an anti Semitic tone to this news story.

Yes, I agree that this is outrageous and wrong and if a person is convicted of a crime, that sucks and they need to play by the same rules as everyone else in prison. It’s PRISON not sleep away camp or a weekend in the country. BUT the NY media LOVES highlighting Jews behaving badly stories.There is no doubt in my mind news desks in NY were salivating over this story and the Friday profile piece on Yaakov Shwekey is a perfect example of this. They want to stretch out this story as long as they can.

This is why we, as a community, need to remember our sins are broadcast on an even wider net. Because we’re supposed to be religious, orthodox, more spiritual, when we screw up, it’s a bigger story.

You have to also consider that some of these examples may just be the Prison Rabbi helping them get Shabbos meals or Yom Tov meals. Terms like “lavish” and “gourmet” are really sometimes just codewords for plain ‘ol Kosher.

Yes, it’s a fine line between being looked at as special treatment, and being helped out to get wine and challah for kiddush and matzah and gefilte fish for a pesach seder. If this was a case of organizing a Minyan of ten people, closest friends and family, and having a small kiddush and an aliyah for the bar mitzvah bochur, then I’d have NO issues with this whatsoever. It’s a terrible shame for this man and his family, but there is no law preventing him from seeing his son, and celebrating an important Jewish tradition.

The PROBLEM here is the length in which they went and how so many prison officials looked the other way and even HELPED THEM throw a party for 60 (!) people AT the prison. (They had to hire 5 extra prison guards to do CITY PAID overtime to be at this event.) Laws WERE broken here and it’s wrong.

5) Before I continue, I want to make one thing VERY clear. I am not singling out Yaakov Shwekey here and I am not even finding fault with what he did. He was just doing his thing. Would I have done it? No. Am I a singer? No. I think that performing at this families Simcha (the actual one they had, not the prison one) would have been more appropriate and in line with the reasoning he gave the NY Post.

If he was concerned to be M’sameach the FAMILY in a tough time, then there is no reason to be at the prison part for the father. Of course I don’t know that there WAS an other “actual” bar mitzvah but I’m assuming there had to be. The boy had a bar mitzvah class, it was December, middle of the school year, he had to have gotten an Aliyah in a shul, I’m sure he has uncles, grandfathers, who helped him.

6) With that said, let me try to wrap this up by discussing this mentality that Frum Jews don’t do anything wrong and are never guilty of anything. We aren’t in Russia or Poland anymore. Yes, Antisemitism is ripe these days, but we’re not all simple, humble, pious farmers living in huts and the local town Poretz is trying to create a blood libel about us.

Sadly, America (and the rest of the world) has lots of Gashmius, and this Tummeh and Gashmius taints the souls and entices some of our fellow community members by getting greedy and doing bad things. Some people steal, some people do other even more terrible, unspeakable things.

Is it rampant? That’s for the YeshivaWorld/VinNews/RabbiHorrowitz comment section people to decide. But to deny it happens at all is just silly.

There are GUILTY FRUM JEWS in prison, we must admit it and learn to DEAL with what that means. We can not pretend it’s ok, or sweep it aside because it’s just a “money crime” stealing is stealing whether its from the government, a business partner or a GOY. It’s a terrible thing to steal, Lo Signof. It’s one of the Big Guy’s Top Ten. (What? I capitalized big guy!)

I think an attitude of complacency about “no guilty Jews in prison” resulted in this story happening. If people would consider these types of things to be more terrible I doubt they would go along with it. Let’s just say it wasn’t a guy who was convicted of stealing 1.7 million dollars. Let’s say it was a guy convicted of murdering his neighbors or molesting a young child. Would anyone in their right mind sing at that guys simcha in prison? Would anyone help arrange catering and special favors? Come on .. you know no one would touch it with a ten foot pole.

We have to change the way we think, because aside from it being wrong, it also sends a terrible message to our children and pushes this mentality another generation cycle.

That has to have been the longest post I’ve written in 6 months. Below is the story from the NY Times, which surprisingly had a lot less antisemitic anti frum ny Jew attitude then the NY Post articles. Which dripped of anti religious undertones.

The city’s Department of Investigation has opened an inquiry into how a well-connected inmate was able to schedule, cater and host a bar mitzvah for his son — with 60 invited guests and live music — inside a jail in Lower Manhattan.

The inmate, Tuvia Stern, a former fugitive who was facing charges that he stole $1.7 million, held the six-hour kosher-catered party in December in the gymnasium of the Manhattan Detention Complex, apparently with the knowledge of two Correction Department chiefs and the jail’s warden, city correction officials said Thursday.

Guests of the extraordinary jailhouse bar mitzvah, which featured a band and Yaakov Shwekey, a popular Orthodox singer, were allowed to bring their cellphones into the secure complex, and food was served on china with metal forks and knives — all violations of rules prohibiting communication devices and sharp objects that could be used by violent inmates.

The New York Post reported details of the jailhouse party on Thursday. Several city officials on Thursday privately expressed near disbelief that any inmate, regardless of wealth or connections, would be allowed to turn a jail complex into a rollicking banquet hall for six hours.

“You have knives and other metal utensils, and cellphones all over the place,” said one city official, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of angering more senior officials. “Why did they do this?” Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, asked by reporters on Thursday afternoon about the episode, said the party should not have been allowed. Correction Commissioner Martin F. Horn declined to comment. A spokeswoman for the Manhattan district attorney’s office declined to say whether the office was investigating if the party, and at least tacit approval for it by senior Correction Department officials, involved any criminal wrongdoing.

Mr. Stern, 47, fled the country in 1989 after being released on $250,000 bail while facing charges, along with his older brother, of stealing $1.7 million in two financial scams. He went to Brazil with his wife and five children and was brought back to New York in February 2008 after losing an extradition fight that began when he was arrested while trying to enter England in December 2006.

Mr. Stern was convicted in February 2009 of first-degree grand larceny and sentenced to two and a half to seven years in prison. In mid-April, he was transferred to a state prison in Woodbourne, N.Y., State Department of Correctional Services records show.