Escape From the Holy Shtetl
Gitty Grunwald fled the pious world of her mother to return to the secular city of her grandparents. There’s only one problem: The Satmars kept her daughter. A family saga of four generations of American Jews.
I’m assuming everyone is talking about it because I got no less then nine e-mails pointing me toward this story. I’m just warning you that it’s a tough piece to get through. Aside from the fact that it’s 9 pages long and full of some very hard things to read. Fair warning to readers, there are obsene words and phrases used throughout the article.
In early 2007, Gitty fled Kiryas Joel for good, taking Esther Miriam with her. At first, they lived in the relatively relaxed frum (Orthodox) community of Monsey, New York, then moved to Brooklyn. “It was just the two of us. I loved it,” Gitty says. Then in January of this year, as Esther Miriam was walked with her class to a Flatbush playground, she was taken, says Gitty, who believes her husband was behind the act.
“Some KJ guys snatched her off the street. Esther Miriam said they were wearing masks. All she remembers was crying, crying so hard,” Gitty says, calling it the worst day of her life. “When they told me what happened, I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was being suffocated. I still do.”
Since then, Esther Miriam has been in KJ, at times in the house of Yoely’s parents, as Gitty works through the courts, both secular and rabbinical, to try to regain custody of her daughter. For the time being, Gitty says, “Yoely calls the shots, when I can see my daughter and where.” That’s why Gitty was nervous taking Esther Miriam to Wal-Mart. Yoely had decreed the store off-limits.
It’s a very detailed and multi generational story. I’ve got some comments on it, but until I compose them just take the time to read through this.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:55 am
so much heartache in this story - the little girl, Gitty, Yoely, all the grandparents etc… just tragic.
i think Gitty’s mother put it best:
“Deborah says, “She should stop blaming religion and trying to make us monsters.”
it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re Satmar. it’s a question of dysfunction. just read the background - HaShem yerachem. you have these “rebels” from every part of the hashkafic spectrum - every branch of Chasidus, Litvish, Modern Orthodox. (dare i suggest that you have this in the secular and atheist realms too?) it has nothing to do with the hashkafa itself but the way it is practiced and passed on the kids (who become parents).
may HaShem give us the wisdom to pass on the Torah to our kids in a way that builds them - not destroys them…
July 15th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Julie,
I agree that this family obviously has dysfunction problems, but religion has a lot to do with it. In many ways K.J. is like a mormon compound. It’s very dangerous, the things they do to you if you step outside the hive is awful.
They have violently perverted frumkeit and used Hashem’s name to carry out violent and sinful attacks. If someone wants to leave they should be allowed and if they want to take their children with them they ought to be allowed.
If they don’t like it take them to court.
You don’t grab a child off the street like they did, it’s messed up.
The other problem is that frum communities need to figure out better ways of dealing with their own who want to stop being frum. It’s a horrible thing whens someone wants to stop being frum, but they don’t stop being Yiddien or even people for that matter. To treat them like they treat this Gitty is not the torah way.
They should try whatever they can, but at some point there is a line and you have to let them go and make their own decisions thats what bechirah is for.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:43 am
i agree with a lot of what you said but i must reiterate that religion has nothing to do with this: “You don’t grab a child off the street like they did, it’s messed up.” we hear about stories like this from people who are irreligious all together. psycho people are psycho people.
and yes, they have serious problems (i think that what goes on in KJ also goes on in Ramat Bet Shemesh - stories that make your face turn white with rage) but again, i’m not sure it’s exclusive to Satmar. unless i’m missing part of the picture…
there’s no chochmah for us to be saying what they’re doing is wrong since we’re Lubavs and disagree with their derech fundamentally…
July 15th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
It’s very unfortunate that she has decided to take this very sad story to the media. It doesn’t do any good to either side of the story. Besides of making a Chilul Hashem for instance by taking a fundamental Halacha that’s the basis of a yidishe shtib and compare it to the Taliban etc. Having said that we all need to bear in mind what Chazal tell us ‘Al Todin Chaveircha Ad Shatagia Limkoimo’ We will never be able to comprehend the struggle one has to go through by having two sides of her family pulling her in different directions. Let’s just all hope that this little girl grows up with the Derech Hatorah and with faith in Hashem Yisborach. Until we will all be Zoche to the big day when all the Jews will be reunited from all four corners of the world with the holy spirit upon all of us, Amen.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
My first thought was. “This would never happen in Lubavitch.” Would it? I think that since a lot of us come from this background, we’re better at dealing with it. Besides, I’d like to think that a Lubavitch educated girl would do better than Gitty in this scenario. All the innocence is great, but what about life skills?
July 17th, 2008 at 8:38 am
admin wrote
“They have violently perverted frumkeit and used Hashem’s name to carry out violent and sinful attacks. If someone wants to leave they should be allowed and if they want to take their children with them they ought to be allowed.
If they don’t like it take them to court.
You don’t grab a child off the street like they did, it’s messed up”
What are you talking about?
He took her to beis din and court and she lost, he had the legal and moral right to “grab” the child, nobody was ever “attcked” or “prevented from leaving”
July 17th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I pity this poor girl that her difficult youth brought to choose this way and go as far as smearing the community she grew up in. considering how she got here, you cant blame her that much, although that’s definitely not the way to go.
But the writer Mark Jacobson should be ashamed of himself, both from a journalistic and from a human being standpoint. To be so unfairly one sided on a story he barely investigated, and on a community he never had contact with, is a real shame.